Dealing with Failure and Rejection
“I have not failed 10,000 times—I’ve successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work.”
Failure and rejection are inevitable parts of any creative journey. How you handle them can define your career. Jai Long shared his personal experience: "My first business was when I was 20 years old, and I was bankrupt by the time I was 21. It's probably the lowest point of my life that year, and it's also the most that I've ever learned and the most that I've ever grown." This mindset of viewing failures as learning opportunities can transform setbacks into stepping stones. He added,
Rebecca Carpenter also reflected on her experiences with failure, stating, "Every rejection, every setback has been a lesson. It wasn't easy at the time, but looking back, I can see how those moments helped shape my career." She emphasised the importance of seeing failures not as endpoints but as crucial parts of the learning process. "There are so many factors outside of our control, especially in the wedding industry. Focusing on what we can control keeps us grounded and proactive."
Si Moore added his perspective on dealing with rejection: "Keep showing up, keep doing the work, even when it feels like you're not making progress. Over time, the effort compounds." This persistence is key to overcoming setbacks and finding long-term success.
Much like the movement of the tide, our creativity, our ideas, our focus ebbs and flows. To push forward, it’s necessary to retreat to allow a swell to push ahead. If you’ve been thinking recently about how you haven’t changed anything for a while or done anything expressive, you’re already primed to have another push.
RISING TIDE FLOATS ALL BOATS SURE, BUT BE THE TSUNAMI!
Let’s continue with this metaphor: you want to be the TSUNAMI, NOT the SINKHOLE. Sinkholes are depressions or holes in the earth that gradually swallow everything around them. We all have people in our lives or have interacted with people online that we can link these attributes to. They walk into a room and bring down the mood and morale of a group with their pessimistic outlook and constant complaints. They are the creative business owners who don’t want to be creative, who have found their way to do things: “the right way” and don’t continue to learn and evolve. They belittle, begrudge, and what’s worse, they cause damage and destruction to the professions that we love, stifling passion and pulling all those around them into darkness. THESE PEOPLE ARE THE SINKHOLES!
On the other hand, there are those who constantly search for answers, who might have flaws or moments of struggle but actively search for better ways of working and overcoming. They are the powerful waves in our lives that surge forward with incredible force, sweeping away negativity in their path, uplifting and inspiring those around them with their contagious optimism and can-do attitude. These individuals create a sense of momentum and excitement that propels everyone forward towards a shared goal with their ideas inspiring others to think and adapt. THESE ARE THE TSUNAMIS!
“Staying positive and focusing on what I can control has been a game-changer for me. It allows me to keep moving forward, no matter what challenges come my way.”
Practical Advice for Dealing with Failure and Rejection
Now that we've established the importance of being a positive force, let’s delve into some practical advice to help you navigate the inevitable challenges along the way.
Learn from Every Experience
Failure isn't really failure at all. It's a crucial part of the journey towards success. Thomas Edison famously said, "I didn't fail. I just found 10,000 ways not to make a lightbulb; I only needed to find one way to make it work." This perspective is vital in our field, where creativity and innovation are paramount. Every misstep is a step closer to mastering our craft. Jai Long noted, "In hindsight, it's probably one of the best things that's ever happened to me." Reflect on what went wrong and how you can improve. He advised, "Each setback is an opportunity to learn something new about yourself and your process. It's about asking the right questions and being honest with yourself."
Embracing this mindset allows us to take risks, experiment, and ultimately produce work that stands out. When a project doesn't go as planned, it's an opportunity to refine our techniques and deepen our understanding. By viewing setbacks as learning experiences rather than failures, we can maintain a positive outlook and stay motivated.
Stay Resilient
When we started our business, our podcast, or anything we’ve decided to turn our hands to, we always say we're in it for the long haul. We realise that the only way to find success in this day and age is to weather the storm. In a world full of get-rich-quick schemes, social media hacks, and passive income malarkey, it's all too easy to fall prey to the idea that there's something super easy you're just not doing. Until you figure it out, you won't get that overnight fame or business success you've been dying for.
Understand that success requires patience, dedication, and a lot of hard work. It's about showing up consistently, even when progress seems slow or non-existent. The journey is often filled with ups and downs, but it's those who persist through the tough times who come out stronger and more successful on the other side. Si Moore shared, "Keep showing up, keep doing the work, even when it feels like you're not making progress. Over time, the effort compounds."
Our experience has taught us that there are no shortcuts to achieving your goals. By staying committed and not getting discouraged by setbacks, we position ourselves for long-term success and fulfilment in our creative pursuits.
And I know, I know—this isn’t sexy advice, but it will serve you well!
““Sometimes, the best ideas come when you’re not even looking for them. It’s about staying open to the world around you and letting inspiration find you.””
Seek Feedback
Constructive criticism can be invaluable. Rebecca Carpenter advised, "Don't be afraid to ask for feedback. It's not a reflection of your worth, but a way to grow and refine your craft." She mentioned, "Some of the best improvements in my work came from listening to constructive criticism. It’s not always easy, but it's incredibly valuable."
Seek feedback from those you admire directly. Do not take advice or be disheartened by what a random at the bar says about you, or a random person online giving unsolicited advice. This extends even to your family—they love you, but they won't always understand if you're trying something new or risky.
The key is to seek out mentors and peers who have experience and insight in your field. Their constructive feedback can provide you with valuable perspectives and help you grow. By being selective about whose feedback we value, we ensure that our growth is guided by meaningful insights rather than distractions.
Embrace Vulnerability
Opening up about your failures—if we still want to call them that—can be a powerful way to connect with others and find support. Jai Long highlighted, "Sharing my story of bankruptcy wasn't easy, but it allowed me to connect with others who had similar experiences. It showed me that I'm not alone, and neither are you."
This vulnerability can build stronger connections and help you find the support you need to keep moving forward.
SKINNY DIPPING ANYONE?
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SKINNY DIPPING ANYONE? 〰️
Warren Buffett, one of the world's most successful investors, famously said, "You never know who's swimming naked until the tide goes out." It’s a quote often used to highlight that when things are going well, people and companies can appear successful and stable. However, during a downturn or economic crisis, weaknesses and vulnerabilities are exposed, revealing who isn’t as strong as they seemed.
This quote reminds us of the importance of being cautious and preparing for unexpected challenges. It's easy to get caught up in the excitement of success and overlook potential weaknesses or risks, but those can quickly become apparent in a crisis. Buffett's advice is to focus on building a strong foundation and being prepared for the inevitable challenges that will come.
Our Journey with Cinemate Films
In conversations over the years with other creatives and on the podcast, we've shared our journey of creating wedding films and running a wedding business, complete with all the “life-lessons” we've learned along the way. We've talked about creative burnout, how we “took our foot off the gas” with marketing, struggled with bookings, and then made the tough decision to shift our clientele and rebrand. All this happened around the same time in our career, teaching us valuable lessons.
Starting from around 2011, we had a few interesting and busy years offering a more “American/cinematic” style of wedding film, a style that was new to the Scottish wedding market, which quickly boosted our popularity. With this newfound popularity, Cinemate Films filled its books quickly, so business was good (for two young men who didn’t really know what they were doing and were charging way less than the value of what they created).
As creatives, we wanted to push our portfolio towards “high-end” weddings and set our sights on the “luxury” European wedding market. We thought high-end meant money, right? So, we focused heavily on shooting things rather than people. During wedding days, we’d set aside time in the morning to be the first ones to shoot. Upon arriving at the church, we’d make sure to capture the church hall, seats, and flower arrangements. Then, at the reception venue, we’d dive straight into shooting the dinner hall tables and décor (often offending the staff because things weren’t set up yet with our overly keen approach).
We’d shoot a huge array of details in the same way: wide shot, medium shot, tight shot. Thinking back, that method seems madness now!
We applied this mechanical approach to every aspect of a wedding. Bride coming down the aisle? Wide, medium, tight. Guests chatting around a table? Wide, medium, tight. Couples’ portrait session? You guessed it—wide, medium, tight. We had turned into robots. We weren’t making decisions based on moments and emotions but rather on the mechanics of a timetable and coverage. We had ALL the kit in the world, but more kit didn’t equal better films. It just made us slower and more stressed. When you approach each wedding with no creative flair, you get jaded but feel trapped under the weight of client expectations.
We had let the popularity and fast bookings put us in a position where we were “swimming naked.” So, when the market changed and we let marketing slip, we did what we shouldn’t have—we forgot to stay creative. Inevitably, when the situation became dire, in the moment of “adapt or die,” we sought change.
“Keep showing up, keep doing the work, even when it feels like you’re not making progress. Over time, the effort compounds.”
Practical Advice for Creatives
Set Unrealistic Goals
Jai Long is a strong advocate for setting ambitious targets. He explained, "Everyone that's really successful in any way has always said the biggest regret that I've ever had is I always played small." Aim high to push your boundaries and discover what you're truly capable of. He shared an example, "When I set the goal to have 10,000 attendees at my workshop, it seemed impossible. But aiming high pushed me to go beyond what I thought was achievable."
Surround Yourself with Positivity
The people you interact with can significantly influence your mindset. Rebecca Carpenter mentioned, "Surround yourself with positive, supportive people who lift you up and encourage you." She further added, "Negative influences can drain your energy and creativity. Being around positive people keeps you motivated and inspired."
Practice Self-Care
Taking care of your mental and physical health is crucial. Si Moore suggested, "Make time for yourself. Whether it's through exercise, meditation, or hobbies, taking care of yourself helps maintain a balanced mindset." He elaborated, "I find that regular exercise and mindfulness practices help keep my stress levels in check and my mind clear."
Celebrate Small Wins
Acknowledge and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Jai Long shared, "I think it's important to recognize your achievements along the way. It keeps you motivated and reminds you of how far you've come." He emphasized, "Celebrating small victories helps build momentum and keeps you focused on the positive aspects of your journey."
Cultivating a positive mindset, staying open to inspiration, and learning from failures are essential strategies for success in the creative industry. By embracing these practices and incorporating the wisdom shared by our guests, you can navigate your creative journey with confidence and resilience.
If you found this blog helpful, consider joining us on YouTube and Instagram @perspectivebycinemate and feel free to reach out for support. Together, we can navigate these challenges and continue creating awesome work!
Stay positive, keep creating and in the meantime… ENJOY YOUR LIFE!
Simon
Cinemate
